Monday, December 29, 2008

The World From My Point of View

Yes, I know the photo's blurry and no, I don't know who these people are. I swiped the image from the National Eye Institute. :o)

However, I'm posting it here to help illustrate my answer to the question, "So what exactly CAN you see?"

Obviously...Not much.

However, the above photo is deceptively clearer than what I normally see. Neat, huh? Seriously, take a moment to stare at the above squint. There ya go.

Now, you would think that this lack of proper vision would induce me to seek professional assistance to remedy the sitation. However, you would be completely wrong. Because by correcting said optical disturbance, I would then be forced to wear contacts (which suck to put in), or glasses (which I'm far too vain to wear).

Another facet to be heavily considered (riding along the vein of vanity--ha! Like that?), is the fact that once my vision was corrected, I'd have to face the most hideous, most horrific view known to mankind.

My own reflection.

The last time that happened (seeing my face through perfect vision) was back in 1994 after leaving the eye doctor's with a brand new set of contact lenses in place.

I became awestruck as my once cloudy world suddenly became clear, sharp, perfectly focused and delighful to behold. ("Wow! There are LETTERS on that building!"... "I can see windows on that train!"..."Man, my shoelaces are filthy!") However, all that delight and wonder vanished the moment I got home and looked in the mirror.

I screamed and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I screamed like a wild banshee, people!

My husband at the time (I was 18...'nother story), came running in to see what was wrong.

"What's the matter?!"

I grabbed his shirt collar with both fists. "Why didn't you TELL ME I was this...this....freakin' UGLY?!"

"I did, but you didn't listen," he grinned. (Humph. Smart mouth. You can see why he's an EX-husband, right?)

The contacts immediately came out, and only went back in on those RARE occasions when I cared enough to see. They died a slow, painful death by means of dehydration from lack of use. Oh well.

My sister, gotta love her, said that nowadays I'd scream, cry and wail....then dial the number of whatever dermatologist and plastic surgeon Google brought up first. Provided they took payments of 50 cents a month for life. :o) She knows me soooo well!

So there ya have it. My reasons (albeit vain and shallow) for not seeing the eye doctor within the last 14 years.

I'm not sure where exactly I was even going with this post, but I hope I at least brought a bit of humor to your day. Carry on....

1 comment:

Venti Iced No Water Americano said...

I'm dragging your butt to the eye doctor


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