Monday, May 31, 2010

Dear Children o’ Mine

It has come to my attention that you still do not know how to properly sweep the floors. Therefore, I shall do my best to teach you. Again.

1. Get the broom and remove the dustpan attached to it. I realize you like to try to sweep with the dustpan still attached or borderline dangling from the handle. But having it scrape against the floor until it eventually falls off is no longer an option.

2. Begin by sweeping underneath all cupboards. Yes, the broom does fit under there, and quite easily I might add. Try it. I’ll wait.

3. As you sweep, bear in mind that you have to add some muscle to it. Lightly skimming the bristles across the floor (ahem!) does not do the trick. If I wanted to gently blow the dirt across the floor, I’d take out a fan. Sweep it like you mean it! ;-] 

4. As you sweep the dirt out from under the cupboards, sweep it into a pile in the middle of the floor. Then go back over the entire floor, sweeping firmly and deliberately, adding to the pile as you go. Take care not to step in your dirt pile. (Keep an eye out for the dogs. One good doggy sneeze and you’re done for!)

5. Now, here’s where it gets interesting! Once you’ve gone over the entire floor and can no longer pick up any more dirt, it’s time to put it into the dustpan. Woohoo! Party time!

6. Retrieve said dustpan from wherever you deposited it. (Hopefully NOT on the kitchen counter…)

7. Contrary to popular cartoon-lore, it is not acceptable to sweep the pile under the nearest rug. Don’t even think about doing this.

8. Now, with short, firm strokes sweep the entire pile into the dustpan, working backwards (meaning you physically have to move yourself and the dustpan BACK) across the floor in order to get it all in. Please note that leaving a line of dirt on the floor is not cool.

9. Yes, I know this takes a minute especially if you didn’t sweep right the first time. :) You’ll be okay.

10. Empty dustpan into the garbage can. Rinse off and dry dustpan before snapping it back on the broom handle. (This means you!)

11. Put the broom—with dustpan attached—away where it belongs. Not in the corner of the kitchen or wherever you feel it rests most comfortably.

12. Stand back and admire your work! Feel the satisfaction that comes from doing a job right, the first time. (That and the joy that comes from knowing I won’t make you go back over it a second time!)

Love you!!!  xoxo Momma


Mrs. White said...

Love this!!!!!!!! I am going to read it to my children.

What a fabulous idea!!!

Mrs. White

Kristenph said...

LOL! Great instructions. I think I'm going to have to implement a daily inspection of my children's chores. And maybe I'll write up instructions like this. (BTW, I've never rinsed my dustpan! Please don't think less of me :) )


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