Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I Am Not Normal. My Husband Said So.

Last night, Dean—my devoted husband who truthfully has no room to judge normalcy—said I wasn’t “normal”.

{This from the 40 year old hippie who must attend every Grateful Dead or GD regurgitation/mutation concert no matter the cost or distance, even though he’s already seen them a million times before, and doesn’t understand why I think it’s crazy to see the same band perform the same songs in a different order, multiple times throughout the course of a lifetime…} 

Anyway. Back to my story.

My display of unnormalness came about whilst watching Biggest Loser. The trainer, Bob was having one of his team members perform this awesome looking push-up maneuver called, “The Scorpion Flip”. It looked like a deliciously challenging core-buster, so naturally I was intrigued. Unfortunately, they showed the move so fast that I didn’t quite pick up on its proper execution. Darn!

But my faith in TV trainers {and NBC as a whole} was restored during the commercial break. Through a short video tutorial, Bob demonstrated the move in totality.

It was in that moment that the world suddenly stopped cold.

I could feel my heart begin to pound. My throat got all dry and scratchy. Beads of sweat dotted my forehead. I stared at the TV, drinking in every detail. The familiar feeling of pure, unbridled “Must.have.that!” washed over me.

{In truth, this is the same feeling I get whenever I spy anything fitness related. A new gym in town, a workout video, a fitness magazine…50% off all equipment at Sports Authority. Twitch. Twitch.}

The commercial ended and all of my faculties (speaking, moving…thinking) suddenly returned. In full force.

“Oh WOW! Doesn’t that look like fun?! I’ve got to try that…!” {I proceed to do the move. And it hurts. Especially since I was already sore from that morning’s workout. But I like it! Smile}

“Wooooo, that’s incredible! You really feel it across your stomach. Do you want to try that with me, honey? Huh, huh, do ya, do ya, do ya? Please, please, please!”

{I’m sure I resembled Fernando bouncing around on his hind legs in anticipation of a treat.}

Well as you can probably guess, my hippie hubby wasn’t exactly “flipping” over the whole “Scorpion” thing.

“Fun?!” he scoffed, looking up from the Grateful Dead website he was looking at on the laptop. “You think an exercise looks like fun?!”

“Oh, yes! Yes, I do!” said I, still bouncing like a happy chihuahua.

And here comes the clincher, folks…

“Honey, you know that’s not “normal”, right?”

Humph. Happy chihuahua bouncing over. Commence…Pouty baby!! Annoyed


Luke Holzmann said...

[laughing] Well, my wife convinced me that Wii Fit was going to be fun. is, but not enough fun for me to rush home from work and do it. Now we have I eyes on Dance Central for the Kinect. I've done it. It's fun. But is it fun enough to make me rush home from work and do it? ...I don't know. Because what's normal is the opposite. [smile]


Christi said...

I wish I loved exercise enough for that to be normal, unfortunately; I have to agree with your husband. I'm working to be 'not normal', just not there yet.

Heather @ Marine Corps Nomads said...

Normal is over rated. ;) I would love to enjoy exercise that much, but I'll have to settle for just being motivated to be healthy.


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