Stand Back! She's Gonna Blow...!

I need to vent {hope ya'll don't mind}, and I figure since this is my blog, I can do whatever I want. :o)

First up... the issue with the COBRA insurance. Now there's a headache and a half. 

Now per federal law, Former Employer must furnish this upon employee's termination--literally, as you're walking out the door.

Was hubby's furnished to him at said time? No.

Have we received anything in the mail as we were told we'd receive this week? No again. 

The end of the month is coming up fast, and if something happens to my husband's insurance, I...will...freak...out! Not in general terms but on them. {To quote Poppy from Beverly Hills Chihuahua: "I'm gonna go all kindsa Mexican on them!"}

Then there's the issue of waiting for a call back regarding the million and one resumes we've submitted. {Tap, tap, tap. Hello? Is this thing on? Anyone out there?}

It's so hard to watch your husband's spirits sink lower and lower every day, knowing there really isn't anything you can do to help ease the burden. Yes, I'm looking for a job, too. But I'm not having any luck, either.  And if I do get one first, then we'll totally swap roles {Me = full time provider, Him = Mr. Mom}. I was semi-planning for this already, hence switching our homeschooling method to a less hands-on approach. But I'm still praying that things will pick up enough with my home-based jobs to where I won't need outside employment.

There's other little things too...things that really don't bear mentioning but still eat away at my brain each day {and at night when I try to sleep}.

I know somehow we'll get through it, we always do. {To quote Dean's new mantra: "God will provide...God will provide..."} I just feel a bit like that line from "Praise You In The Storm": "I was sure by now, God you would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say "Amen" and it's still raining..."

Sometimes I feel like my prayers are falling on deaf ears. Other times I feel like, "Something good's coming, just hold on!" Then another bill comes in. Another phone call comes through. Another delay. And I think, "Okay, seriously?! Haven't we had enough..? No? (sigh) Okay, then. Thy will be done, Lord..." I know trials are designed for our benefit. I just wish they didn't last longer than a minute. (Hey, I'm being honest.)

But then I look at others' situations, like those living in Japan right now. Who am I to complain about something like a job when people have lost--literally--everything? What makes my situation that much more important than theirs? What makes my prayers that much more important? Nothing, that's what.

Okay, I think I'm done. Carry on...and thanks for listening. :)

Relaxation With a Touch of Restlessness (and the Hunt for a Good Book)

Here it is, another Shabbat and "the fam" and I are loafing like fat cats relaxing.

It's the last weekend before "Everything Goes Back to Normal" Monday, which in itself is kinda freaky. Well, more for Dean than me. Monday for him means "there will be no more 4 or 5 day weekends for a loooong time". It also means that the kids' ballet and tae kwon do lessons start up again, which the girls are excited about. Ethan? Not so much.

Just prior to entering church today, I was feeling rather put-off by the whole idea. I was even half-tempted not to go because I just couldn't escape this "blah" feeling. Pathetic but true. Now, I'm going to admit something that I haven't openly shared in "public" before, and it's this...(clearing throat).


I'm bored. Spiritually bored. I want so much more than I have received thus far in my 13 years of Believerhood. But more of what? I'm not sure. I mean, I know I want more of Him. That much is certain. But I also feel such incredible stirrings inside of me, like I'm on the threshold of something utterly fantastic. And if I make the choice to seek after it and grab on with both hands, I'll have achieved something great. Hmm. Perhaps a better description would be "restless". I'm spiritually restless. (Nodding my head) Yeah, I like how that sounds better than "bored".

Anyway, I sucked it up and went to church. After all, today was our monthly "oneg" (potluck/potbless, whichever term you prefer), and it was our turn to bring a dessert which was nice, considering we usually get asked to bring a salad which is just sick 'n wrong.

Then whilst I was devouring my lunch (which consisted of everything but salad) a charming couple whom I only know as "the ones who sit behind us" (yeah, I'm a bonehead) started chatting with me. The lady began sharing a bit of her personal testimony with me (which was quite fascinating by the way), when she suddenly stopped, looked me square in the eye and said: "Don't give up. Don't walk away. This (gazing around the sanctuary) is about to explode and it'll be something great. Just wait and see. And you and your family are going to be a big part of it."

Seriously, how cool is that?! I hadn't shared anything about what I was feeling, then she pops off with the exact words I needed to hear. Only God, folks. Only God! Needless to say, I was feeling pretty darn perky after that. :) I gave her a gigantic hug and thanked her profusely. What a cool lady. I don't know why I didn't get to know her sooner. (Oh, right. Because I'm a bonehead.)

After we came home from church, I decided to get some cleaning done so I could relax. I know...I know. Doing housework on Shabbat is a huge no-no. However, you must understand that I simply *cannot* relax in a messy house. It goes against my inner clean-freak. So, I washed up the breakfast dishes, swept the floors, scrubbed the bathroom, threw the laundry in, then took out the trash. (Granted this was also done yesterday too, but like I said: F-R-E-A-K)


Moving on!

Dean's busy watching the movie, District 9 so the children have been sequestered to the opposite end of the house. It's rated R and I don't care how much Ethan insists he can "handle it" and how "totally awesome" the previews are, he's NOT watching it. Period. I'm trying to ignore said movie by focusing on my charming little laptop. Seems every time I look up, something gross or "shoot 'em up, blow up, made-especially-for-dudes" scene is on and frankly, that ain't my cup o' tea. :)

I picked up a couple of Christian "chick-lit" novels from the library the other day which, I'm sad to say, aren't as good as I thought they'd be. They're both by author, Kristen Billerbeck. Ever hear of her? Anyway, I guess I'm just used to the "heathen" variety of chick-lit (a`la Jennifer Weiner and Jane Porter) instead. Not that these books are poorly written or anything like that, but the plot is a bit lacking for my taste. (No offense to any Billerbeck fans out there.)

Oh! Speaking of books. I signed up to review books for Bethany House Publishers. I'm set to review my first book from them very soon! I can't wait! (I love free books, don't you?) By the way, have ya'll read any good books lately? If so, what are they? I'm wide open to suggestions! I'm in the midst of a literary drought. It's most distressing.

Well, the movie's over and the children are now clamoring for pizza. (Go figure.) So on that note, I shall close. Tootles!

Discoveries--The Good and the Disturbing

My little corner of the world is still very dark and quiet. The children are still snoozing away (Oh, the joys of being homeschooled!), Dean's off at work, my workout is finished, and now it's time to get some computer work done before the troops emerge.

Today's workout only consisted of a 30 minute ab routine. (Big whoop, right?) Yesterday I did a 55 min. tape plus an additional 20 mins on my bike. That doesn't sound too bad--in theory. However, I was going for a full 30 mins on the bike but wimped out. :) Oh well. So today I decided to focus on my jelly-belly and maybe do a cardio routine later on. We'll see. A friend of mine and I are keeping each other accountable in this area. Granted, our consistency isn't as it should be, but we're trying--we're making the most out of every day--and that's all that matters.

Guess what? Ethan's discovered a new hobby. Thanks to a homeschool class at Games Workshop, he's fallen in love with the whole Lord of the Rings model/game-making/role-playing thing.

When I first told Dean about it he was shocked and said, "What? He can't do that!" "Why not?" "Because we used to make fun of those nerds back when I was in school!" (Oh brother!)

My son is certainly not a nerd. At least not in his Mommy's opinion. I love how he's found a new passion (outside of video games) and am more than willing to encourage his endeavors. Thanks to my friend Rachel, Ethan is taking their "Academy Class" once a month w/ his buddy, Nathan. This was their birthday gift to Ethan. Wasn't that sweet?! Ethan totally loves it! He's made 4 characters so far and can hardly wait for the next class.

Oh and for the record--once Dean saw everything that came in Ethan's starter kit and all the detail that goes into painting these little things--he now thinks the activity is pretty cool. :) One more thing; Rachel and I've noticed how this can quickly become a rather expensive hobby. (Ahem) But we've both decided that we'd help our sons get started but after that---they're on their own!

Moving on!

I've discovered two new things about myself.

1. My chai habit's getting cheaper. Sort of. I can no longer drink The Good Stuff without it irritating my stomach. I switched from The Good Stuff to the Close Second Stuff, but even that's bothering me now too. So I've moved onto the Not So Bad Once You Get Used to It. (*Sigh*) So unfair...

   2.   I find myself "forgetting" things quite often. Much more than before. Perhaps I'm just taking after my mother and sister. (No offense you two.) But I've always been a disciplined, structured, list-making person. Still am, really. But even if I write a task down, I'll still forget. Even if I just read it! Or worse, I'll forget to write it down in the first place.

Last week, I forgot to do something crucial for Dean and while it isn't earth-shattering (or ending), the ramifications are going to be a pain to deal with. I also forgot when Ethan's Academy class was to take place and had to email Rachel (repeatedly).

I also forgot to take the trash cans out to the curb for pick up, do all the laundry (figure that one out!), and forgot to do school among other things. ("Gee, you kids sure have a lot of time on your hands today...hmm...")

This is so hard for me because *I'm not supposed to forget*. I'm the one who "never" forgets even small details like birthdays. But I forgot to phone my brother in law on his birthday. I knew it was his birthday earlier in the day, but then I decided to call in the evening, then later forgot. By the time I remembered, it was too late to call with the 3 hr time difference.

Then I forgot my son's birthday was coming up until the moment he walked up to me and said, "Mom guess what? My birthday's a week away!" (Blink) In my defense, his birthday plans did coincide with my Uncle Bret's passing, so I'm using that as an excuse. In fact when Ethan reminded me, I was in the middle of making the DVD presentation for Uncle's service.

I then forgot to invite people until 3 days before the party. Then realized I forgot to invite everyone I was supposed to. (Not good.)

Then to make matters worse, I kept forgetting Sierra's birthday. Or rather, kept forgetting to make plans for it until the last minute.

I forget what I've written down, what I've done, and what I still need to do. It's downright scary sometimes, especially when I consider that my Grandmother--who was like my mother and sister--now has Alzheimer's. (Gulp) My mother says she has "Half-Heimer's". Hmm. Maybe I've got Quarter Heimer's?

Is this just an age thing or a family thing? Guess we'll have to wait 'n see! (But by then, I'll forget what I'm waiting for...) 

Currently Reading...(Or, "How To Totally, Absolutely, Confuse and Gorge Yourself")

I love to read. (Big shock, huh?) In fact, I love to read so much that I tend to view words as bits of the world's richest, most flavorful, most sought-after chocolate, all wrapped up in gold foil. A treasure meant to be savored...cherished...respected...enjoyed.

Although the above thoughts are noble and paint a very "Princess Bride" picture in one's mind, I'm not one that can eat just "one" bite at a time. No sir. Not me. I'm more of the "all you can eat" buffet visitor, piling my plate higher and higher with said chocolate. Then taking my time to slowly digest each delectable morsel, whilst unbuttoning the top button of my jeans....

This sort of behavior produces a profound rush of euphoria, unequal to that of any other experience. Including guzzling massive quantities of chai tea...which, I must admit, comes in at a very close 2nd place!

However, once the euphoria fades, a feeling of complete and utter confusion sets in. I find myself thinking about one book while deeply engrossed in another. I begin to mesh the two (or more) storylines together, which is somewhat humorous, especially if the two books are completely unrelated. Yet it all leaves me scratching my head in perplexity. Imagine that.

So, for your viewing pleasure, I shall proudly share my current list of reads in hopes that you will join me in a round of chocolate bliss and literary confusion. Enjoy.

• The Shack, by William P. Young--I've heard such a firestorm of controversy over this little novel that I just had to see for myself what all the hubbub was about. I'm borrowing it from my friend, Lisa-marie. She left off at chapter 9. I hope I don't lose her bookmark.
• The Shape of Love, by Gelsey Kirkland & Greg Lawrence--I previously read this book several years ago when it was first published. This is the second autobiography by former ABT ballerina, Gelsey Kirkland, and shares the story of her "triumphant return to the stage" with London's Royal Ballet.
• Knockout Entrepreneur, by George Forman--I'm actually reading this book for a review on behalf of Thomas Nelson publishers.
• Ascending Peculiarity: Edward Gorey on Edward Gorey--This book was recommended to me by Rachel, of Vala Diva fame. One chapter in particular tells of his fascination with George Balanchine ballets...very interesting read! I also LOVE the title..."Ascending Peculiarity". What a fun phrase, don't you agree? Ascending peculiarity...gosh, I love that.
• The Audrey Hepburn Treasures--This is another gem from Miss Rachel. Of particular interest is Ms. Hepburn's ballet background.
• The Creative Habit, by Twyla Tharp--Dancer/choreographer Twyla Tharp explains how to make creativity a lifelong habit. No matter what your creative outlet is, she shows you how to take a blank canvas and see the work of art hidden inside, just waiting to emerge.

Whew! I don't know about you, but I'm stuffed....(Hic!) Excuse me.

WFDC Holiday Party

Well, as you can tell by the above photo and title, the party did indeed go on as planned. (Whew!)

The party was held at Sockeye's, which is a lovely restaurant nestled in Monroe. The quiet drive was made beautiful by hundreds of snow-laden trees lining the highway, with very few lights to disturb the peaceful setting.

A tad dark, but you get the idea.

The Sockeye's staff were efficient and professional, while the WFDC staff were lively and enjoyable. :o)

It was so much fun hanging out with Joe(-Joe) again, as I rarely get to see him. Joe-Joe's been my friend for 12 years, and was the one who got me the job over at Egghead Computer (before they became NewEgg.com), which in turn brought me to Dean. (Little useless background trivia for ya there. Heehee!) He later helped Dean get the job over at WFDC (Work Force Development Center).

 

Cheryl, Mindy and Joe-Joe (everybody loves Joe-Joe...)

Anyway, the evening was lovely and the friends and co-workers at our table were absolutely hilarious. Cheryl and her significant other, Pat were truly the highlight of the entire night. :o) 

She and I discovered we had the same "quirk" when it comes to not taking off our makeup (or making sure it's on before we leave to give birth--coating our eyelids with liner in the midst of crippling contractions! Ha ha!). She is such a hoot! I could hang out with that lady for hours and walk away with a stomach ache from laughing so hard.

For supper, Dean and I each had the steak which I ordered without the umm...fig sauce and blue cheese topping. (Gag) The meal came with Caesar salad, mashed potatoes and veggies.

I ate 2 bites of my steak, total, then proceeded to give all my leftovers to Liz, a sweet lady from WFDC's Human Resources department, who was sitting next to me. (Not that I didn't like the steak, it's just that after subsisting on a fist-sized amount of food for 3 weeks, that big plate of food was just not appealing, whatsoever.)

Liz was a lot of fun to chat with; very funny and personable. Oh, and she had on the most adorable red heels. :o)  (I love heels...) Gosh, her shoes were cute!

Anyhoo, I had a good time, Dean seemed to be in his element (the perpetual goofball/class clown/star of the show...Gee, I wonder where Abby gets it?!), and I was pleased to hear from everyone how well loved my husband was and how he "talks about you all the time" and "just loves you like...whooosh!" (Ha ha)

However, the absolute best part of the night was....the WAVE. (Had to be there...)

This Is It!

Today's the day....Dean's company holiday dinner party.

I've been working out, watching what I eat, and generally stressing out over my appearance for weeks, all in the hopes of being rewarded by walking in to said dinner looking stunning and fat-free.

Even though I've got my dress all planned out, I may end up having to scrap it due to the snowy weather in favor of a dress that I can wear boots with and not a pair of spiky high heels.

However, if all the snow and ice prevents me from basking in the sweet, warm glow of reward by causing tonight's big event to be cancelled, then I will be totally, thoroughly, and completely annoyed.

I Really, Really, Reeeally Want This!

Yes, I'm quite The FIRM junkie, but I honestly can't help it. The Firm works, it's fun, and the results are almost immediate!

I've been using their tapes since waaaaay back in 1993 (back when they were a whoppin' $50 each and there were only 5 to choose from), when I was 17 years old.

My sister and I'd come home from school and workout to Volume 1 with Susan Harris (the very best 60 minute workout ever, which is now known as "Body Sculpting Basics"), then we'd rewind it, and do it again. (Psychotic, I know.)

This was of course, in addition to walking to/from school, daily PE class, and for me--ballet class 5-6 days/week.

(Oh, to be 17 again...)

Anyway, I've got 14 VHS and 4 DVD workouts, the "second generation" Fanny Lifter, and the Firm Incline Box (which my daughter broke, but not whilst exercising).

And now, in an attack of sheer greed, I'm drooling over these items here and here.

So, for those of you who've become anxious in what to get me for Hanukkah or simply because I'm fabulous, this is it. :o) (Hello, husband...tap, tap, tap!) I am also willing to wait until my next birthday. If I must.

Thank you all for your time. Now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Interesting

TV Reviews

At least I'm smarter than a 5th grader! ;o]

Accessorize; One Piece of Duct Tape at a Time

I've been informed by my charming husband that his company's annual holiday party will be held on the 19th.

That's a mere 3 weeks away.

Three teeny, tiny, fly-by-too-fast weeks to get myself into pre-childbirth-13-10-and-8-years-ago shape.

Unbelievable.

Hmm.

I think it's time to make a trip to Costco for my two favorite reinforcements accessories; a tub of Crisco and a roll of Duct Tape. Because that's the only way I'm gonna get into my dress, people.


Seriously, why do companies torture wives this way?

I mean, it's bad enough he works with women who are still in their 20's, and who have never birthed ONE child, much less three. Now, I have to show up looking perky, with all my 30-something-year-old body parts secured tightly in place, as opposed to my usual method consisting of tucking my stomach rolls into the waistband of my jeans, and bungy-cording my rump back up where it belongs.

Above my thighs.

(Gosh, that just paints a picture, doesn't it?)

I think I'll adopt Lisa-marie's current diet of oatmeal and salad. (Plain oatmeal without my usual 1/2 pound of brown sugar on top, that is. Gee, that just sounds sooo appetizing...Not!)

Does anyone feel sorry for me? Anyone?

*Crickets chirping*

O, My Aching Joints!

I truly am getting old. With the colder weather we've been having, my joints have been driving me nuts!

At intermittent times my knuckles, wrists, ankles or knees will just start throbbing and yelling at me. Usually the colder I am, the worse it is.

Nothing like having one knuckle throb. Or both wrists start acting up the moment I pick up a glass. (A full glass is especially charming, I find.)

All this on top of purple fingernails. Seriously, my hands get so cold my nails turn all "Barney the Dinosaur" on me.

Ok, Barney's a bit too magenta. "Concord grape" is probably more accurate.

Whether this be a product of age, or simply my fate with having several family members with arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis or Lupus, I haven't a clue.

But either way, it hurts. And me no likey. :o(

Blah

That pretty much sums up how I feel today. Blah.

I woke up this morning fighting waves of nausea off. Never fun. I told myself it was simply because I was hungry...or too fat...or the new vitamins I'm taking, etc. And that it had absolutely *nothing* to do with the fact that I spend time on Shabbat with the beloved Calderon family, of whom Julianah was sick with some sort of flu bug.

Ahem.

Nope. Nothing to do with that. Besides, she was doing a lot better by then. And with the way Amanda and Lisa-marie clean and disinfect everything all the time (even when there isn't a bug going around!), there's no way I'd catch it.

(That's my story, folks and I'm stickin' to it.)

So, in the meantime I'm telling myself that I'm fine to go into work today. Sure, nausea whispers in one ear every few minutes, but the lack of money screams in the other.

Besides that, I have to walk Sierra to the bus stop anyway to meet up with Vallye. She's helping her sew a costume for the horrid holiday coming up. A holiday that I don't care to have my children participate in, but Dean sees only joy in it. Therefore, costumes are being made and purchased in anticipation of said event.

I hope they get a free toothbrush with their mountain of candy.

Yesterday was a sad day. It was the very last Awana club meeting over at Grace Fellowship. We've been participating in Awana there for...gee...5 or 6 years I think?

Anyway, due to many variables, it was decided to pull the plug on Awana. I understand the reasons for it, but as my friend, Rachel said, "I don't have to like it". I know the majority of the leaders wanted to keep going, and it was touching to see their devotion toward the program and the kids.

I had my kids make homemade Thank You cards for all the leaders, and I wrote a little note inside for each of them. (I actually made Dale, the T&T leader cry. Oops! Sorry, Dale!) It felt so weird saying goodbye to all the friends that had become an extension of our own church family. Some of the kids were in my class back when I worked in Cubbies. The thought of not seeing them every Sunday--watching them grow and change--made me feel all choked up. :o(  

But as hard as it is, I know that the Lord has a plan for all of us and our children.

I'd like to start looking into other Awana programs in the area to see what's available. However, Dean has expressed some apprehension about this, as he said walking into a different church and leaving our kids with them would feel *really* weird. Like I said, we've been with Grace for a good 5+ years, and knew everybody there. Even when I stopped working in Cubbies, I had no problem leaving my children in the other leader's capable hands. It'll be different at another church; he's absolutely right.

And we may not pursue Awana. We'll have to pray and discuss it with the children, and see what happens.

Well, I've managed to keep my toast down. That's a plus for the day.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to roust my children out of the comfort of their warm beds. :o)

"Why me, Lord?" "Why not you?"---Love, God

So there I was, having a pretty decent Friday, when I decided to check my bank account online. Not only has my rent check NOT cleared yet, but I found a fraudulent "pending" debit transaction for "French Nail".

I do not get my nails done, nor does anyone else in our household.

I immediately called the bank, and after going round 'n round with their royal pain in the rear automated system, I was finally able to speak to an actual human being.

Turns out, they can't do anything with a pending charge. I have to wait until it clears. (Just ducky) Granted, it's not a huge charge, but the fact that it's pending--and this person has access to our account to use at their leisure--freaks me out. What other charges are going to pop up in the meantime, ya know?

So, I cancelled my card in order to figure out which card--mine or hubby's--was violated.

Ain't that great? What a way to start the weekend.

Now I'm holding off on paying bills, unless our entire account gets drained before the checks clear. (An exaggeration? I think not!)

I've got a house to clean, lessons to plan (both Shabbat school and home school), and I have to coordinate my hours at the office next week. I need to get in as many as possible due to Ethan's birthday (the big 1-0!!) comin' up.

Oh, and Dean will be at some Boeing class downtown all next week, and while the cost of the class is to be paid by his company, gas and parking expenses are on us.

Of course they are! Why wouldn't they be, right? (Insert psychotic laughter and head banging here)

If I've said it before, I'll say it again...."It's always something!"

Can I Go To Bed Now?

It's been such a long, busy day. I'm so glad it's almost over. I just want to go to bed and snuggle up with Israel, the adorable Yorkie Prince.

But unfortunately, I can't sleep until Dean comes home at who-knows-what-time, from his stupid concert.

Not that I have to wait up for him; I just do. I can't fall asleep until I know he's made it home safely.

The children are all grumpy and tired, though. They can go to bed any time now....

I, on the other hand, need to take Israel out to use the Little Men's Room.

Hmm...what's on the agenda for tomorrow? (Said while rifling through her notebook...)

Oh, yes. Here we go. "Sunday"...Awana Club...Vala office...writing assignments...laundry.

I think that's it!

Yeesss!! A day off! (Well, from excessive errands that is. )

Is it bedtime yet???